Behind The Scenes Of ReBoot
by DG
Summary: Mike 'interviews' the cast (Well, most of it) of ReBoot! Please note that this has absolutly no bearing on my Viral Imperium story.


Author's Note: Comic relief here. Nothing is real. Oh, and, unfortunately, I don't own a thing about ReBoot that's official. There is (again, unfortunately) no profit in putting this up for everyone to read.  
  
Behind The Scenes of ReBoot!  
  
Narrator: The cast of ReBoot has been working non-stop for eight years. Now that the show has temporarily paused production, they have taken time out of their busy schedules to do a behind the scenes special because of the low ratings Cartoon Network is allowing the cast to get due to their taking off ReBoot from American airwaves. *Narrator begins mumbling about 'stupid Cartoon Network* Ahem. We'll start by interviewing the character of Bob.  
  
Bob: Honestly, I was upset with the idea to send me off into the Web at the end of Season 2. Then I realized it would give me time to return to my original profession of dancing at clubs in a cancan dress for cheap cash.  
  
Narrator: Wow. Pathetic.  
  
Bob: Hey, you're at least in a constant job. Mike!  
  
Narrator/Mike: Hey! How'd you know it was me?  
  
Bob: The audience may not see you, but I can. Now, would you quit insulting my intelli. intelli. brains!  
  
Mike: Well, anyway, Bob did have a lot of money raked into his accounts after his two years as Guardian of Mainframe plus his profession of cancan dancing. *Snickers*  
  
Bob: Mike!  
  
Mike: Uh. right. Anyway, after all that money, Bob decided not to return for the third season, so the writers blasted him into the Web, leaving Enzo to protect Mainframe.  
  
Enzo: When I learned I was going to be the main character of the story, I thought it would be a rather permanent thing. Instead, the producers decided I was too young to be a hero. So, they decided to create a more *adult* version of me.  
  
Mike: And create an older version of him, they did.  
  
Matrix: Well, they found me out on the set of the last Arnold movie, working as his stunt double. When they decided to bring me in, they also decided they'd need a love interest for me, since several of the fans who'd watched the show on ABC who'd grown up and become teenagers. So, they hired my girlfriend, who by sheer coincidence had the same name as the love interest of the new main character. uh. Enzo.  
  
Young AndrAIa: I did not want to stay with the show, so the producers were ready to cancel my ten-year or fifty-episode contract. I was thankful that after the episode 'Game Over' I was released from my contract.  
  
Mike: *Snoring, Young AndrAIa kicks him* *Babbles* Oh, uh, yeah. Anyway, after their releases from their contracts, Enzo Matrix and Young AndrAIa were ready to become boyfriend and girlfriend. Of course, when Enzo met her parents, the relationship was over.  
  
Enzo and Young AndrAIa: Hey!  
  
Enzo: Her parents told her never to see me again.  
  
Young AndrAIa: That is correct! Oh, this means that my parents will be upset with me now.  
  
Mike: Ah, yes. Anyway, Dot was happy to have control of the next few episodes, which she directed.  
  
Dot: Mike, who gets your facts?  
  
Mike: It's all independent!  
  
Dot: Hmmm, that explains a lot. *Cast snickers*  
  
Mike: Hey, I don't insult what you all do for a living.  
  
Bob: Anyone else wish the writers had written in an actual remote to turn him off?  
  
All except Mike: Yes!  
  
Mike: These insults are getting old. Well, I guess it's time to interview one of the virii from the show. Hexadecimal, how did you feel finding out Megabyte would gain control of you at the beginning of the third season?  
  
Hex: *Angry mask* I was outraged!! *Mike cowers, Hex switches to her smile mask* But then I realized how fortunate the opportunity was.  
  
Mike: *Stuttering* F-f-fortunate?  
  
Hex: *Smirk mask* Of course. *Crazed mask* Because I could destroy my brother's business from the inside! *Cackles insanely, then stops abruptly* *Passive mask* Uh, what was the question, again?  
  
Mike: *From under his chair* Oh, uh nothing.  
  
Hex: Nothing what?  
  
Mike: I'll be going. I still have to interview others for this Behind the Scenes special.  
  
Hex: A behind the scenes special? *Outraged mask* And no one thought to ask me to be on it?  
  
Mike: *Cowering and stuttering* B-b-but I d-d-did interview you. J-just now.  
  
Hex: *Happy mask* Oh, goodie. Well, Michael, come back anytime.  
  
Mike: Okay, Hexadecimal. *Scrams*  
  
Hex: *Angry mask* Get that camera out of here!  
  
Mike: All right. After my interview with Hex, I turned to Megabyte. Unfortunately, Hack and Slash said that he was unavailable.  
  
Hack: Oh, the boss is very-  
  
Slash: -busy, and he can't be-  
  
Hack: -disturbed.  
  
Slash: Hey! That's what I was saying!  
  
Hack: Well you took too long!  
  
Slash: No, you interrupted me!  
  
Hack: Took too long!  
  
Slash: Interrupted me!  
  
Hack: Took too long!  
  
Slash: Interrupted me!  
  
Hack: Took too- Oh, forget it.  
  
Slash: Forget what?  
  
Hack: What are you talking about?  
  
Slash: What are you talking about? *Both go off in the direction of the energy sea and fall over the edge*  
  
Both: Ahhhhhhhhhhhh! *Fades*  
  
Megabyte's Voice: Would the mechanics please activate one of the spare versions of Hack and Slash? Again.  
  
Mike: Well, obviously, that was a dead end. Though, the comedic value of watching those two fight never ends. *Camera shakes and looks down* What?  
  
Hack: Hey! You aren't supposed too be here!  
  
Mike: Ah! Run! *Camera fades into static  
  
We'll be back to the Behind the Scenes of ReBoot! special in a moment. For now, please enjoy these novelty commercials we created, since the regular sponsors won't spring for the independent shows like this.  
  
You saw the first one; now see the highly credited sequel: Sprites in Black II. Staring Guardian 452 and Matrix reprising their roles as Agents B and M.  
  
Matrix: I can't believe they roped me into a commercial for some movie that doesn't even exist.  
  
Bob: Wait until you see what's planned for the parody of Star Trek: Nemesis.  
  
Matrix: *Groan*  
  
Announcer: Did you two even read the scripts for this commercial?  
  
Bob: I got to the part where Daemon and Mike take over Guardian Headquarters, but the plot of it lost me there.  
  
Matrix: What, you expect me to read those scripts you send?  
  
Announcer: Uh, right. Okay. Well, I guess that ends this commercial.  
  
*Rugrats theme plays*  
  
Bob: What is this? Why am I wearing a diaper?  
  
Announcer: It's for the Rugrats TV show.  
  
Bob: Oh, no. I'm not doing it.  
  
Announcer: Bob. If you'll look at the fine print in your contract, it says you have to.  
  
Bob: D'oh!  
  
Hex: *Off screen* Oh! I just love the character of Angelica!  
  
Bob: You don't mean she's playing the role of my character's cousin?!  
  
Announcer: Yes.  
  
Bob: *Screams like a girl uncontrollably*  
  
Announcer: *Chuckles nervously* Oh, look. We're out of time.  
  
Dot: Well, what do you know? I'm advertising my Diner.  
  
Announcer: Uh, Dot?  
  
Dot: Yes?  
  
Announcer: The commercial is taking place in your diner. You're not advertising the diner.  
  
Dot: Dang. *A sprite that bears an uncanny resemblance to Verison Wireless guy walks in*  
  
Guy: Can you hear me now? *Pause* Good.  
  
Dot: Security! *Megabyte enters, a 'Censored' curtain pops up, and ugly sounds are heard. When curtain lifts, Cecil is wiping something that looks very much like blood from a table*  
  
Cecil: What do I look like, a maid?  
  
Dot: Oh, I like my new cell phone.  
  
Announcer:......... I don't think that this was what people at System Wireless were wanting.  
  
Dot: What are you talking about? I got a cell phone, and that guy got what he deserved.  
  
Announcer: I know I'm gonna regret having another commercial, especially one that involves Matrix, but the guys at Entertainment Inc. are requiring this.  
  
Matrix: This is new.  
  
Announcer: This commercial is for Web Wars Episode II: Attack of the Backups. Don't screw it up.  
  
Matrix: *Evil smile* Who, me?  
  
Announcer: *Speedily* And now back to Behind the Scenes of ReBoot!  
  
Matrix: Dang.  
  
Mike: All right, now that we're done with the, ahem, interesting commercial break, let's speak with the star of the show. Me!  
  
Bob: Mike!  
  
Mike: Oh, uh, sorry, Bob. We'll go see Matrix now.  
  
Bob: Hey!  
  
Mike: What is it now, Bob?  
  
Bob: I'm the star of the show!  
  
Mike: Well, we're talking about the third season.  
  
Bob: Mike! You totally bypassed the first season!  
  
Mike: Hmm, I guess you're right. Well, let's go talk to Dot about how she was truly affected by the breakdown she suffered in 'Identity Crisis.'  
  
Bob: *Growls*  
  
Mike: *Scrams*  
  
Dot: The breakdown my character suffered in said episode was rather appropriate. And my older brother played the older version of Enzo. I wondered why they never thought of him for the role of Matrix. He already had the scarred eye they wanted Matrix to have. Maybe it was Matrix's mechanical eye.  
  
Dot's older brother (No name was available by production of this special): Those few lines broke my career. I had a good thing going with the more adult work, and my little sister getting me a job on this show made it so that movie producers would see only the listing of ReBoot on my resume, and not the other stuff.  
  
Mike: Dot's older brother dipped out of sight after that interview. There is no indication he'll resurface any time in the next few centuries.  
  
Dot: Mike! Out of the diner! Unless you want me to call security.  
  
Mike: *Remembering the commercial* I'll be going now. *Walking out the door* Say, how did you get Megabyte to be your security officer?  
  
Megabyte: I'm working off Hack, Slash, and my viral officers debt to Ms. Matrix.  
  
Mike: How much is it? My viewers want to know.  
  
Megabyte: 5,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,00 0,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 credits.  
  
Mike: *Eyes bulge* You'll be here for forever.  
  
Megabyte: *Growls*  
  
Mike: Right.  
  
Dot: Alone at last. *Blinds go over the window*  
  
Mike: DOT and MEGABYTE? Maybe this behind the scenes special will be worth the video it's on. *Cecil is kicked out of the Diner*  
  
Cecil: Excuse a moi, Madame, but shouldn't I remain in ze diner in case of a customer? *Megabyte's hand switches the 'Open' sign to 'Closed'*  
  
Mike: *Stares* Oh! This is juicy!  
  
Bob: Mike! *Reviews footage* DOT!  
  
Dot: *Stepping out of the diner in ripped clothes and smeared makeup* B- Bob! What are you doing here?  
  
Bob: Well, I was coming for an energy shake and- Hey! What's with you and Megabyte?  
  
Dot: He's really a kitty once you get to know him. *Megabyte walks out with a limp and lip marks all over him*  
  
Megabyte: *Putting his arm around Dot* Purrrrr.  
  
Bob and Mike: ...........  
  
Mike: I think now would be a good time for a commercial break.  
  
Bob: I think you're right.  
  
Enzo: *In a lab coat and purple gloves and speaking in a phony German accent* I can't believe they stuck me in one of these commercials!  
  
Young AndrAIa: *In a pink outfit with hair extensions* You think you've got it bad. I'm wearing a girdle underneath this outfit.  
  
Enzo: Ouch. Well anyway, let's just get this stuuuuuuuu-pid commercial over with all ready.  
  
AndrAIa: What's with the accent?  
  
Enzo: It's in my description for this stuuuuuuuu-pid commercial.  
  
AndrAIa: Oh.  
  
Announcer: Get on with it already.  
  
Both: *Glare in Announcer's direction*  
  
Announcer: Right. Commercial's over.  
  
Announcer: Spider-Sprite! Watch as mild manner photographer Bob Barker faces off against the evil Green Grabber.  
  
Megabyte: Green Grabber? Who writes this junk?  
  
Announcer: Phong.  
  
Bob: This explains a lot. Say, how does the movie end?  
  
Announcer: Why would I tell you? That would spoil it.  
  
Bob: Megabyte?  
  
Megabyte: Of course, Guardian. *Claws*  
  
Announcer: Right. Okay, okay. The Green Grabber is deleted.  
  
Bob: That'll teach you for infecting my girlfriend.  
  
Megabyte: One, she's not your girlfriend. Two, she's not infected.  
  
Bob: Hypnotized? Evil backup? Mind control?  
  
Megabyte: No. No. No. She prefers villains. We do have more fun than you heroes. We don't have to follow rules. We can break bargains. We offer a chance to win, the hero agrees to it, villain says they won't help unless they can get away scott-free, hero agrees, hero and villain approach object of bargain, villain joins in with the other being, hero beats the one he didn't bargain with, villain the hero bargained with gets away without punishment.  
  
Bob and Announcer: .............  
  
Announcer: Let's go to a commercial.  
  
Bob: This is a commercial.  
  
Announcer: Well, let's go to another commercial, then.  
  
Frisket: *Barks, translation appears beneath him* *Translation* When I want a treat, I want the Databone. Databone is a trademark of Online Diet Inc.  
  
Enzo: Hey! How come Frisket has a regular commercial? *Translation into dog beneath him* *Noticing the translation* Hey! Cut that out!  
  
Announcer: Frisket has a team of lawyers who confused the producers so much, they just gave him a regular commercial.  
  
Enzo: Frisket, share the wealth. *Frisket whines*  
  
Announcer: I'm not gettin' paid enough for this job.  
  
Mike: Well, what do you know? The commercial break's over. *Hurrahs are heard from the cast* And we're going to continue the interviews! *Boos and groans are heard from the cast* Well, would you rather go back to the commercials?  
  
Everyone else: No, no, forget I said anything.  
  
Mike: I thought so. And now, it's time for our drama to continue. We go now to Phong.  
  
Phong: I enjoyed the last season, mainly because it was my least hurtful. After all, being attacked by Megabyte in 'Infected' and having my head removed in the third season isn't fun.  
  
Mike: Uhhhh, weren't you attacked by Megabyte's nodules in the last part of the movie 'My Two Bobs?'  
  
Phong: Compared to those two, that was painless. I also enjoyed the 'I am Yogurt' part of this season.  
  
Mike: Phong, don't you have something comedic to say?  
  
Phong: Funny thing to say, I do not. Practiced for ages, I did to play Yogurt.  
  
Mike: *Makes the 'He's been drinking too much' motion*  
  
Phong: Resent that comment, I do.  
  
Mike: Let's do lunch sometime. I'll pick the day and time.  
  
Phong: Farewell, I give you.  
  
Mike: *Outside of the Principal Office* What a nut. *Camera nods* Maybe we should go see Megabyte now. *Camera walks away slowly* What? Come on, it can't be that bad!  
  
*G-Prime*  
  
Hack: Well, I don't know.  
  
Slash: Yes, the boss is very busy and-  
  
Mike: Oh, that's right. He's making out with Dot.  
  
Hack and Slash: Hey! How'd you know?  
  
Mike: It's only plastered everywhere! *Points to a newspaper billboard that says 'Megabyte and Dot are in love! Dot and Megabyte now own Mainframe!*  
  
Hack: Hey, when did-  
  
Slash: That get there?  
  
Mike: Well, anyway, we'd better head over to Dot's Diner.  
  
Hack: Hey, can we go-  
  
Slash: -With you? It's very-  
  
Hack: -Lonely here, and we-  
  
Slash: -Think that binome in the back is plotting-  
  
Hack: -Something.  
  
Mike: Uh, well, I guess, since we have nothing else to do.  
  
Hack and Slash: THANK YOU!!! *Huge Mike and the cameraman*  
  
Mike: Yahhh! Don't ever do that again, or I'll leave you here!  
  
Hack: No, no please!  
  
Slash: We'll be good! We-  
  
Hack: -promise!  
  
Mike: Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. *Camera nods*  
  
*Time Lapse*  
  
Mike: Now, we arrive at the home of the reclusive Net Surfer, also known as Ray Tracer.  
  
Hack: *Rather loudly* Weren't you going to Dot's?  
  
Mike: SHHHHHHH! People want to know about Ray. Now, be quiet! We have to sneak to get near him.  
  
Slash: *Loudly* Why?  
  
Mike: Because loud noises make him flee.  
  
Hack: *Louder* What kind of loud noises?  
  
Slash: *Louder still* Presumably chain-saws, Frisket growling and rap music.  
  
Mike: *Screaming* NOT TO MENTION TWO BUMBLING, IDIOTIC ROBOTS WHY CAN'T GET BE QUIET THROUGH THEIR HEADS!  
  
Slash: Well you did not have to-  
  
Hack: -Yell about it. Sheesh. *Sound of a portal opening and closing is heard.  
  
Mike: *Grumbles*  
  
Mike: Unfortunately, folks, we have run out of time for the Behind the Scenes special. That and I've run out of patience. If there is another reporter out there willing to try and deal with this crowd... You'll need loads of protective gear. Buh bye now!  
  
Mouse: Wait! Ya didn't interview me!  
  
AndrAIa: Or me!  
  
Mike: Oh, well, that's because we took a poll and you were the ones people most wanted to hear from.  
  
Mouse: Did that make sense to you, sugah? *Camera shakes*  
  
Mike: Well, let me explain it. We need people to watch this, and keep watching. And the best way to do this is to find what the viewers want to see most, then never show it, or show it very last to keep people watching! Buh bye now! *Fade out, ReBoot theme plays* 


End file.
